The Incident.

Let me start this out by saying what a crappy month it's been. Refer back to my Thanksgiving post, and catch yourself up. Now fast forward a week or two and you'll find a still sick (and super cranky) Henry J. I took him back to the doctor and turns out the antibiotic he was on wasn't working AND his breathing was strained due to bronchialitis. So we end up getting a breathing treatment at the doctor and put on another prescription. Which I should probably mention at this point, that trying to get HJ to take medicine is a complete joke. Lots of kicking, pinching, gagging and throwing up was happening at our house.

2 days after being on the medicine, Henry starts breaking out in these terrible welts and rashes. I can tell it's itching him really bad, and that makes him even more miserable. I feel so bad for him, but am seriously about ready to pull my hair out because I'm SO frustrated. Turns out he's allergic to the 2nd medicine and we have to put him on a third antibiotic and some benadryl to help with the allergic reaction.

After being cooped up in the house (and not going to daycare) for a week, Henry was starting to get cabin fever and even more cranky. Despite my better judgement I take him to WalMart so we can walk around and get ideas for Christmas presents. As soon as we get in the store he bumps his attitude up a notch and goes into terrible two's mode instantly. He's running around the store constantly grabbing things, and asking me to open it and when I don't, he absolutely loses it. So 10 minutes into the shopping trip I've already opened up a candy cane filled with chocolates and a box of cereal.

I finally get him to calm down and sit in the cart while eating some cereal while I'm grabbing one last totally unnecessary item (cuz that's how it goes when I'm at the store sometimes). We head to the check out line and as soon as he sees all the rows of candy he stands up and starts reaching for them. I try to remind him about the other candy that I already opened for him, but it's suddenly lost it's appeal. I can tell he won't be able to reach the candy, so I flip open my phone to text Alan about how terrible Henry has been.

About 5 words into the text, I glance up and see Henry still leaning out of the cart and whining over the candy. Now here is where I feel really stupid about what I did and wish for everything I could take it back. I move the cart further away from the candy and Henry proceeds to fall head first out of the cart. I lunged forward and tried to grab his legs (which I think I did to a point, I really don't remember) but it was too slow of a reaction and he hit head first on the ground. I picked him up and instantly started scanning his face for blood or open gashes. To my luck, everything appeared normal. I then noticed that his mouth was open like he was getting to cry really loud, but nothing was coming out. Then the next thing that happened still makes me sick to my stomach.

Henry lost consciousness. His head started rolling around because he wasn't holding it up. I start screaming for someone to call the cops (obviously out of my mind at this point and couldn't think of the word "ambulance") and laid Henry on the conveyer belt. His head fell to the side and I could see his eyes were rolled to the back of his head. I was saying his name over and over but he wasn't responding. I looked around and see everyone staring back at me and not calling the ambulance. So I fumble with my phone and manage to dial 911. At this point Henry wakes up, and I pick him up and hold him to me. There is a crowd of WalMart employees surrounding us, seeing if Henry is ok and taking pictures of the incident, and I'm trying to tell the 911 lady what has happened. It was such a blur.

Once I got off the phone, that's when it all started to hit me. I broke down and started sobbing about what had just happened. I was moved to the front of the store to sit down with Henry, calm myself down, and wait for the paramedics. As we sit there, Henry starts to whine to get off my lap. He then proceeds to play with his toys and acts like nothing has happened. When the paramedics get there (like 15 minutes later) they look at Henry and tell me that he seems to be ok and because he hasn't vomited they aren't super worried, but should still take him to the doctor. As luck would have it, his doctor office won't take him because he lost consciousness, so we have to go to the ER. They tried to do a cat scan, but Henry was absolutely losing his mind on the table. Alan and I talked to the doctors and they think that the reason he passed out was from holding his breath for that long. We were given instructions to wake him up periodically through out the night and make sure he doesn't throw up.

I got lucky that night. I think about all the things I could/should have done and it makes me angry. It made me realize that accidents can happen anywhere, and faster than I can blink my eyes. But the most important thing it taught me was to really enjoy the now and stop living for the future. I'm a planner and I always look towards the future. But after this happened, I realized that I haven't been enjoying Henry at this age. I will never get his little voice back, the cute little words he says, and the fact that I can still get him to kiss and hug me whenever I ask. He is going to turn into a teenage boy that doesn't want to hang out with me on the weekends, and will refuse any sort of kiss from me.

I am grateful for my Henny and everything that comes along with being a mom to a toddler.
I will never take it for granted again.